Lobstercon 2: The Trip to Bahston

Written by Andy Callaghan… Tuesday, October 1st, 2019

Five of the Old Order travelled by plane, train, and automobile to Boston to attend Lobstercon 2 on 9/21/2019. We drove to Baltimore for the 6am flight so we could spend the day enjoying the sights, sounds, and aromas of the big city. We were not disappointed.

Bags of medical waste down by the wharf.

After exploring the mean streets aimlessly for a while, we decided to get on the train to visit the Sam Adams brewery. Most of the boys are adults with a basic understanding of beer-making. Me not being among them, I learned a lot and got some free beer to boot.

Beer-making chemicals.

During transit we came across some young people involved in a climate change demonstration. Luckily someone had the foresight to call up the factory farmed bacon out of the propane-heater-fired food trucks. The line was long, and the irony was not lost.

We took the train to the closest stop to our hotel and purchased an Uber ride the rest of the way. None of us had used the app before, so it was a good learning experience.

Mike in the back of a hatchback.

After safely arriving at the hotel, we played some magic and planned the rest of the night: early dinner and the Lobstercon before-party.

The hotel offered us a free shuttle to the food-gettin spot. Unfortunately the driver must not have been very familiar with the area. We went around the same septagon roundabout several times before finding the right exit. Still better than a $35 Uber each way.

We landed on Lord Hobo Brewing Co. for beer and pizza. The food was great, but I got clowned on for choosing a magic themed cider instead of a proper beer. They’re just mad that I’m running three shatterstorms in the board.

On the way back our shuttle driver informed us he had to pick up two other hotel guests from a local tanning salon. One of the guests informed the driver they were getting the bottoms of their feet tanned (??) which would take “literally 10 minutes”. Thirty six minutes later two Irish girls thicker than a bowl of day old shepherd’s pie came out of the salon speaking ancient Gaelic. We told them “we don’t bite”, but I’m not sure they were familiar with the adage based on their facial expression.

Not pictured: Thicc Irish Broads

After returning to the hotel I decided to skip the before-party. For one, an Uber for four people costs half as much as an Uber for 5. Secondly, I only brought one deck and didn’t want to give out the secret tech before the main event. Third, I was tired and didn’t want to ruin the night by being cranky. Instead I laid out my list for the final deck photo.

Stone Trolled Steve Austin

Stone Trolled Steve Austin: The theme of course being to use Stone Giant to throw trolls, ball lightnings, eggs, and whatever else you like at your enemy. You can regenerate the trolls, the balls dying doesn’t matter, and I guess I don’t need to explain the eggs. The sideboard consists of whatever relevant cards I own that I don’t care about getting beer on since I was playing unsleeved.

Day 2: Event Day

One of my favorite parts of coming to a city is checking out the local graffiti / vandalism. I believe graffiti is the truest form of art since the artist almost never gets credit for his or her work. They do it because they love it, or because they’re 12 years old.

My favorite vandalism was the phallus on the sidewalk right outside the venue. It was at this moment I knew we had come to the right place.

The event was held at The George Dilboy Post in Somerville. The room was big enough for all ~120 participants, vendors, and artist Bryon Wackwitz doing alters and signatures. Full bar, lobster roll delivery at round 3, and 7 rounds of Swiss.

There was also a raffle benefiting Room to Grow Boston: a non-profit which aims to provide “resources (parents) need to unlock their family’s potential and become champions for babies and their community.” The prize table was huge, and I can only imagine how much money was raised.

Now onto the less exciting stuff: my match results. I didn’t write down my opponents names, but you know who you are.

Rd 1: Workshops. I won game 1 due to a big mistake by my opponent, he won game 2 somehow (robots or something), and I won game 3 on the back of blood lusted critters and bolts. Record: 1/0

Rd 2: Atog. Two quick losses in a row. I got him to 16 once. I recall a big mind twist hitting my entire sideboard which I had in the opening hand. Record: 1/1

Rd 3: Workshops. Another two fast losses. Game 2 I attempted to respond to his deadly attack with a suicidal bolt, which he blue blasted. Crushed. Record:1/2 

Rd 4: UG Berserk. Lost the first game by inches, he psi blasted to a draw game 2, and he double berserked an unblocked 4/4 mishra’s game 3. Overall pretty close games and a lot of fun. Record: 1/3

Rd 5: 4(?) Color Big Red. Lost game 1 to a fast shivan, but won games 2 and 3 due to bad variance on his part. He couldn’t find an answer to the mighty stone giant after his twister. Record: 2/3 

Rd 6: The Deck. I wasn’t expecting to see The Deck at table 50, but bad variance is a thing. I burned him to 1 in game 1, but books and library took it home. Game 2 wasn’t even close. Record: 2/4Rd 7: BR Rack. Finally the matchup I was hoping for. I have 11 main deck answers to hippie, and 13 total removal cards for little guys. Stone giant doesn’t die to bolt, and the first strike knight can’t block a ball lightning if he gets struck by lightning first. Two wins in a row. Record: 3/4

Conclusion

Overall I ended at 3/4. Stone Giant’s power and toughness is 3/4. Fuckin A. Eight bolts makes any deck pretty decent. Trolls and mishra’s put it into solid tier 3 territory. My orbs are CE which cannot be played unsleeved, but what I lost for not having an orb was gained by not having the anxiety of missing a critical orb flip. 

Finally, there are a lot more interactions in a deck like this than one might think. I can recall making plays with blood lust and immolation against multiple triskelions to keep my mishra’s from being machine gunned. I had a 3/1 immolated brass man against a meekstone which was untapped every turn for 1 colorless. And I’m happy to say I did successfully end a game by throwing a ball lightning at my opponent with no flying blockers. Over 9000.

I’d also like to congratulate Old Order’s founder Jason Beaupre for winning 2nd place spicy deck with the brew entitled Ron Jeremy: the big white deck.

Many thanks to DFB and the New England crew for setting up this great event!

Photos

OOF.
Top table donning the lobster bibs. Jimmy’s BR Dwarven good stuff versus Paul’s 5c great stuff.
Some early morning airport Magic. The giant Uthden Troll preparing to walk through a factory.
(Not shown: The StP cast in response to the Giant Strength.)